I just don't have the fight left in me anymore. I was feeling so good for about a week, but I didn't think it was going to last very long. I was right too.
I was denied on SSDI again. My lawyer said the court appeal will take three or month months, and that doesn't mean I will know then what my answer is. I have no fight in me anymore to do this shit. He told me on the phone that I should just "get skinny" and get a job. Gee, thanks. At least I am not paying you for this bull shit.
I truly have no fight in me anymore. I do so much good, that it hurts me twice as hard every time something bad happens. I just keep getting pushed farther and farther into the ground and stepped on for everything I do. I do thank Mama Trash for giving me everything she has. At least one (EXTREMELY) good thing has happened in my life time.
I just should always know that for every good thing that happens to me, one really bad thing will counter it.
So, now my Grandfather is broke. I have no money, and no way of getting a job. What the hell am I supposed to do?! I am 21 years old and should NOT have to be dealing with this shit. I just want to crawl into a little ball and go to sleep.